Monday, June 15, 2009

yea it's been a while

Been feeling dark... Black. Yes, black. A large hole in my center. Not heart. Can't even really place it, but it's big ... large... deep... and dark.
I'm screaming in there. No one can hear it. There are no works. Just pain.
Not the physical pain of the fibro but the breath-stealing, gut churning agony that comes from your mind and spreads through every vein and artery. It tried very hard to eat you alive.
It takes you sight and makes you see what it wants you to see. It takes your ears and makes you hear what it wants you to hear. It takes all of you and doesn't want you to fight back.
You will be WHERE it wants you. See WHAT it wishes. Hear WHAT IT WANTS and HOW it wants.
PTSD.
CONSTANT CONPANION.
Cannibalistic.
Consuming.
Relentless.